SOME OF THIS MIGHT BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR SOME PEOPLE


Some of what shows up here is just crazy, even to me and I write it. I intend to share my Journal and things I've done while in, in and out patient programs.

Chronologically I'm 58 (fall of 2013). Experientially I'm older. Emotionally I'm somewhere between 3 and 12 most of the time. I live with stress pretty much all of the time. I often say, "I have a Street address in Stress Land."

As for the name "A Sound Track of Mind". A friend made a road tape called "Experimental or Just Plan Mental" so I made "A Sound Track of Mind". However I think it applies here because of the soundtrack in my mind and, having my mind on a sound (firm) track to run, walk, or crawl on.

The names I use may or may not be real. However my name isn't legally Robin Douglas. There may be some who read this who know who I am because I've been using the name for many years.

In a way my journal is written for my therapist, Jeanne. However, it is also one of the only ways I've found of constructively expressing my feeling with myself. It starts off very sudden because I started writing again to help with therapy. So your missing about 3 years of background. On Tuesday I bring in whatever I've written for the previous week.

Back in '85 through '90 I had written over 350 pages. I called it TEST as in "This is a test it is only a test". I call the new one Test. From 1991 to October 2013, I've written less than fifty pages in many fits and starts but, never being to be able to keep it up. Jeanne likes it because it gives her something to work with if I'm just chattering.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Week 16   -   2014-02-03 Mon.

2014-02-03 Mon.
I've been getting more and more stressed this week about writing. Right now I've already taken 0.25mg of Xanax and, I want to quit writing.

Part of this is because I'm seriously thinking of putting Test on-line. I figure why not. I already talk about most anything anyway. I talk about wanting to help normalize my life and, the lives of others like me. So why not publish Test. I can always edit out anything. I can change names or omit things about other people. I'm very good at talking around peoples names. I've talked about Someone for ten to fifteen minutes and, unless you really know me and whoever Someone is you'd never figure out who they are.

Well I've kind of changed my mind. I've decided to put Test etc. in a blog instead of Facebook. There are a few advantages to this option. The most important of these being, it's easier. Test is a kind of blog already. So it's just a matter of copy and paste. Facebook really isn't set up for blogs. It's somewhere between Twitter (140 characters per post I think) and a blog. Really other than the cost the advantages Facebook has over a phone call are:

  1. you can show pictures.
  2. you don't have to worry if anyone's home.
  3. it takes less time.
  4. you don't have to worry that someone you don't want to talk might answer the phone.
  5. you get a conference call (without all the noise [no voice] whether you want one or not).

I could probably come up with more but... So Facebook is really just a glorified phone. with a few extras.

Anyway I've been thinking of doing this kind of thing for years now and just haven't done it yet. Some of it's been insecurity but, even if I were to use my real name who would know? Maybe a few people but, I'd probably tell all of them anyway. Since Robin E. Douglas doesn't really exist who's to know.

On to other more pressing matters. I might have to rebuild my hard drive from scratch. I'm getting some strange things happening again. Tomorrow I'll make sure I have all of the important changes or new stuff I've made in the past few days are backed up. I have a three year warranty from Micro Center so if I have to replace the drive it's covered.


My eyes keeping closing so it's sleeping time.

Posted by at
Labels:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)