Week 10 - 2013-12-10 Tue.

2013-12-10 Tue.

Today at Jeanne's, I apologized to her for telling her last Friday (2013-12-07) that she was projecting. I'm not comfortable with the out come of our discussion. So I figured it was a good idea to write it in here so I wouldn't forget about it. I know that part of the problem is that I remembered when it was time to leave so we couldn't really talk about it while we were there. This way I know we will talk about next time. If not Thursday (2013-12-12) then next Tuesday.

What happened was, Jeanne said something about this week being a four day week and, I said that's not true because she was going to Philadelphia this Friday. Then she said something about it being a four day week for her patients and, I said that this wasn't necessarily true either. Then I said she was projecting. In part this was because she had told me I was on Tuesday (2013-11-12), though the next week when we talked about it she agreed with me that I wasn't. However, last Tuesday she agreed with me that she had been.

The apology was because I was getting into her head and I don't think that's a good idea. This is something I tend to do a lot not meaning to and, most people get really upset when I do it. Also because she is my therapist so if I do this too often it could cause problems. However, she had told me today I should feel free to tell her these kind of things

Anyway, I don't know what to think so we will talk about it. Hopefully she will be able to explain it to me.

I think this is the end for tonight. Maybe I'll be back but I doubt it, I'm confused.

2013-12-12 Thu.

Yesterday, I play 12 games of Batsford, a bunch, 15 to 20 levels, of BrickShooter and I spent most of the day working on computer art. In the morning I received an email from Marijuana Majority saying Uruguay Becomes 1st Country to Legalize Marijuana! Kinda neat uh.

Anyway they have this picture I like that they ask people to post on web pages. There are two things wrong with this picture. 1) it looks like it's a metal sign with bullet holes in it. 2) it's a .jpg with words on a solid color background. .jpg's really don't work on solid color backgrounds. .jpg's can't display straight lines properly, they dither (change the pixels around an object), for lack of a better word, a picture around an object to help blend it together. For photos, painting or some drawing this works just fine but, whenever you have a straight edge, say a black square in the middle of a white field, it causes problems.

Anyway I spent a few hours cleaning it up and saved it as a .png which doesn't have the dithering problem but, it's a larger file size. The picture I downloaded is 65,439 bytes, the picture I saved is 655,265 bytes more than ten times. However, with today’s hard drive size and the way they are broken down storage wise the .png is worth it as far as I'm concerned.

Jeanie is this way with sound files. Where I'm happy with a 9MB song, she has the 26MB version, or an even larger version. It's kind of like point scales it's all relative.

2013-12-13 Fri.

For some reason my body is acting hypoglycemic. I just don't know what's going on with it. I ate not to long ago, I even had a double scoop of peanut butter. I think I figured it out, I had about four times as much juice as usual and, it has a bunch of sugar in it. I haven't had any ice cream or candy for about a month and, that about all the sugar I eat that's not in my regular food. Kinda-sorta like yesterday I was my sugar was manic and today my sugar is depressed. The weirdest part about this is usually to much sugar I get tired, not enough sugar I get hyper.

I just took some Xanax to calm down some of the physical effects of what ever this is. If I stay like this for too long it really throws everything off. I'm starting to get hot flashes, spacey and tremors. I think the Xanax is kicking in, the muscle spasms (this includes and is covered by tremors) are slowing down a little bit.

On to something else. Though I'll keep you informed if it starts to get bad again.

Yesterday at Jeanne's we talked the projecting and speculating thing. She does want me to say what's on my mind. and we can work on the speculating and saying the same kind of stuff but without thinking about it (I don't know what I saying until I hear it). Actually I might not realize how personal some, maybe most, people feel about what I'm saying.

I know that part of the problem is Little me. Just like a little kid I'll talk about almost anything, at least about my self. The actual words will change depending whom I'm with but, that's about it. I think this line needs to be repeated, with a little extra emphasis:

Though some times when I talk without thinking I can say the most wonderfully eloquent precise things.

I don't want to lost that part of it. I'm not even sure that I could monitor these things. If I figure out how to monitor them, I could very easily screw it up by trying to make it better. Not a good thing for me, almost every time I try to second guess myself, I screw it up.

Back to this later it's My Cloud time. Well it's three hours later. I'm getting My Cloud loaded with my Data directory which has been on at least one of my computers since the mid '80s. It's effective 327GB, though there's a lot of stuff I could dump, without feeling the loss, I never seem to get around to it. I'm also going to upload my Archives directory, which like the Data directory could afford to lose some weight,it's 108GB. Lastly there's the Mac Mini which only has slightly under 72GB. Which only comes to a total of 507 GB. I'll be using more than a quarter of the drive but then I know I can get rid of a couple of gigabytes without any problem and, since a lot of the archive programs can be dumped because they won't work on anything I have to run them on, I won't miss it. Help me work on my pack-ratery.

Another good thing with the I cloud is I'll be able to transfer files from here, Sammy the Android, to My Cloud. I'm going to have to anthropomorphise My Cloud one of these days but, since I've had the Mac Mini for over three years and it doesn't have a name yet who knows.

I'm going to go play for a while more. Oh by the way, the hypoglycemic thing has finally gone away. It was between 13:00 and 14:00 when it started and it's 19:25 now. Be back.

2013-12-14 Sat.

Back, only it's twenty-four hours and twenty minutes later. I have been having fun though.

Jeanie got to be the first person to access my My Cloud drive over the internet. It took a lot of doing though. I finally had to call Western Digital to get help. It ended up I had to reboot the drive from with in a web page that's built into the drive box (printers and routers have the same thing).

For now on I'm going to call the cloud drive WDMC it's a lot shorter and, therefore easier to type. At some point I may find a catchier name. Like calling the Samsung Sammy, it's not only shorter it's also easier to type. I always like easier.

Jeanie once said, though she regrets it, that I was the laziest person this side of the moon. First you need a new definition for lazy. "A lazy person does it right the first time so they doesn't have to do it again." By Robert Heinlein from the book Methuselah's Children I think. I neglected to mention to Jeanie that depending where the moon is that could be a relatively small number of people, especially if I'm at the right latitude.

There is one thing wrong with WDMC I can't directly upload to it from Sammy, However, I can upload to Sky Drive, the Microsoft cloud, then copy it to WDMC from there. It's a little more complicated than that but, still easy.

This all seems kind of disjointed but it's is very much like my day. I spent the morning looking up stuff online, not just WDMC. Then I really got into getting Jeanie hooked up and making sure all of my devices were set-up to work properly. Then I started writing but, I've been doing other stuff all along. I did remember to eat before hypoglycemia came back. Actually I was paying enough attention that I felt it when it was first starting. Oh and, real early this morning I dug out some refills for my meds and my vitamins.

Now I'm beginning to wind down, it's about 22:50. So, I'm off to read and sleep. Nighty night. I really like typing that for some reason.

2013-12-15 Sun.

I found my first computer calculator that does fractions. I've had two or three pocket calculators that have done this for many years. Now I finally have one on a computer. Of course doing fractions on any calculator it easy you just divide the top number by the bottom number but, I want to know that:

1 3/8 - 3/4 = 5/8

not that it equals 0.625, which is of course also true but...

I've been having fun but, I don't know that I'm all here. This has been going on for a couple of days. I'll wait another week or two and see what happens but, I think it might be the anti-depressants.

I forgot to put the day names after the dates starting on Friday, I went back and did it. Later on Friday after I got the WDMC I'm not sure where my head was. However, yesterday and today, looking back, I've definitely felt disconnected. I can feel something but, pushing at it makes me anxious kind of like hypoglycemia feels. This of course would make me think I need to eat, which I am doing Wheat Thins and hummus. I was eating peanut butter earlier. I really don't want to eat a whole meal.

I'll just nuke some frozen veggies. Oh well, I keep forgetting that this microwave is more powerful than my old one. The veggies are alright just a little over cooked. Sometimes I put salad dressing in veggies instead of butter, another oh well. Actually the veggies are still more chewable than over cooked mushy.

Anyway, I'm not sure I like this disconnect feeling.

2013-12-17 Tue.

Sunday night and yesterday I took a vacation. This basically means I suspended all, of my and some of other peoples, rules. Late Sunday night I started playing one of my games and kept playing until seven or eight last night. I got a call from someone taking a phone survey on health in DC. (I like surveys. I think in part because I get to be at one end of the spectrum and, because I get to mess with the people with the point scales. Which is good for me because I have to decide point scale things.) Also on these vacations I usually, 1) go into hyperfocus, anywhere from two to five or six hours get compressed, disappear, 2) eat minimally, in this case peanut butter and tea. On this vacation I played the same video game , a bubble shooter, the whole time without any sleep. Normally breaking only for food, drink or the bathroom. Probably the only reason I answered the phone is my subconscious knew it was time to stop. After the call I had gotten something in my eye and, it's hard to play video games with one eye. Amazingly enough this morning I was hungry for something closer to real, more than one ingredient, food. (Roman, veggies, salsa and peanut butter. I really like peanut butter, though I should have put eggs in it too.)

So basically I did very little, even for me between Thursday and today. Also I feel better without the meds already, but it's only been since yesterday so not a real test. I hadn't back on they long enough for a real test either. It usually takes me two or three weeks to adjust to the side effects.

It just occurred to me yesterday could have been a reaction to the side effects of my meds. God I hate to go through that though. It's not that I don't like it, it's more that I don't really know what happened.

In the game there are 5 colors.

The level I spent most of my time on starts with only 4 of them.

So there are only 5 combinations for which 4 colors I start with.

There are only eighty possible combinations of 4 out of 5 and, I probably played them all.

After those first 4 bubbles are gone the Combinations and Permutations get too complex for me..

So it get easy to see how it all runs together. So "I don't really know what happened".

Sunday night it all started with my new calculator. It's has a few new to me buttons on the scientific calc. screen. The only two I had never seen before are the nPr and nCr buttons or Permutation and Combination buttons. I spent hours playing with the buttons I knew and, remembering and learning how to do all kind of formulas. Then I taught myself about Combinations and Permutations. I spent more than six or seven hours on this stuff. Numbers can really fascinate me sometimes but, then so can words, i.e. crossword puzzles. (I've done crossword puzzles for many hours straight before too.)

Time to get ready to leave, it's early but, I want my hair to dry a little before I leave.

I think I discovered how to deal with my strange paragraphs. Parentheses as long as I don't carry on too long. If I limit my aside comments to a sentence or two I can put them in parentheses, then continue the topic in the next paragraph or not depending how important I think it is. What I've been doing is starting a new paragraph and then going back to the original topic.

Maybe I'll write more while I'm in Jeanne's waiting room, so I'll have time to get this printed and out the door.