SOME OF THIS MIGHT BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR SOME PEOPLE


Some of what shows up here is just crazy, even to me and I write it. I intend to share my Journal and things I've done while in, in and out patient programs.

Chronologically I'm 58 (fall of 2013). Experientially I'm older. Emotionally I'm somewhere between 3 and 12 most of the time. I live with stress pretty much all of the time. I often say, "I have a Street address in Stress Land."

As for the name "A Sound Track of Mind". A friend made a road tape called "Experimental or Just Plan Mental" so I made "A Sound Track of Mind". However I think it applies here because of the soundtrack in my mind and, having my mind on a sound (firm) track to run, walk, or crawl on.

The names I use may or may not be real. However my name isn't legally Robin Douglas. There may be some who read this who know who I am because I've been using the name for many years.

In a way my journal is written for my therapist, Jeanne. However, it is also one of the only ways I've found of constructively expressing my feeling with myself. It starts off very sudden because I started writing again to help with therapy. So your missing about 3 years of background. On Tuesday I bring in whatever I've written for the previous week.

Back in '85 through '90 I had written over 350 pages. I called it TEST as in "This is a test it is only a test". I call the new one Test. From 1991 to October 2013, I've written less than fifty pages in many fits and starts but, never being to be able to keep it up. Jeanne likes it because it gives her something to work with if I'm just chattering.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Week 3   -   2013-10-17 Thu.

2013-10-17 Thu.
Well I was going to write about this Tuesday night and Wednesday but ... But, I still don't want to write about it. I even stopped writing and went and washed the dishes (about 2 minutes wasted) so I wouldn't think about this. When I got back I took 0.25 mg of Xanax, then started play with the computers.

I really don't even want to think about it until I see Jeanne on Friday. However, since I've made this big a deal about it, on Tuesday night as I was leaving I had said to Jeanne "If I weren't so intelligent I might fall in with you" or something to that effect. The only good thing about it that she laughed. It's just all easier to talk about in person, as opposed to writing about it and having her read it.

On a lighter note I found out that I can change the lines spacing in OpenOffice when I print these. This means I don't have to type or, save it in 1.5 line spacing. So I can show Jeanne what it looks like and, she can decide if she likes it. It could make life easier for her at no trouble to me.

2013-10-18 Fri
Well, it all worked out at Jeanne's, as I knew it would. Jeanne knew what I meant when I said it or at least she knew after she thought about it.
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