Week 9 - 2013-12-03 Tue.

2013-12-03 Tue.

It's 12:26 and, I'm at Jeanne's now waiting for 13:00 to do this word association thing with her. I figured I should be early today because I was looking for things to do. Didn't want to get wrapped up in a game or something and, be late.

I didn't want to write at home because that would break the rules of Test. Not that there are really any rules. It's just that by convention if I write something before I leave the house to come here I usually include it at the end of the past weeks Test. So now it's the beginning of next weeks Test, since I can't print it out.

In my effort to waste time this morning, I got a little more dressed up than usual. I even cut my finger nails, not my thumb nails though. Took my shower early so my hair would be at least partly dry. I even played 10 games of solitaire, and about 10 levels of BrickShooter. Still I left at 12:00 for a 13:00 appointment.

Well only about 7 Minutes to go so the end for now.

2013-12-05 Thu.

I didn't write yesterday sort of on purpose. In the morning as I got ready to set up the Android I asked myself if I really had anything to write about. As I thought about it I decided I didn't really feel like it right now so I put it off. I then got lost on the web for most of the day, didn't really think about it. Sometime around 20:15 I decided to see if I could start a winning streak with Batsford on here (I just decided the Android is now Sammy) like I have on the Mac. I broke my game rule because I was still playing at 23:45, so something like 10 to 15 games later I still hadn't reached my previous record of seven wins in a row. I haven't tried this on the iTouch or the iPad, it would make a good experiment. But I'm not going to the the programers about it though, I like to win *¿*.

Back to what I would have written about if I had thought about yesterday morning if I had remembered.

Tuesday night I went crazy and got a My Cloud from Western Digital, a hard drive company, it cost $142.75 all included. What it is, is a network, external, hard drive with Cloud software built in the box. So I will not only be able to share all of my files (the ones I put on the cloud) with all my systems at home but, I'll also be able to use it from other places like Starbucks. I have a Dropbox free account with two gigabytes of space. It's nice but not even close to enough space for everything I might want online. My Cloud has two terabytes, four times more than the data and download archives on both the Windows 8.1 and Mac boxes combined. There are a lot of files (data and programs) that I wouldn't think of putting online so I'll have plenty of space and, won't have to worry about having a picture or a story I want to show Pat with me. Of course she's paying for it until the Feds refund my Medicare money but, I'll pay her $150.00, so she'll make $7.25 on the deal. A little more than 5% interest, 5% would be $7.14, a lot better than leaving it in the bank. If I don't get my refund in January I'll start giving her $50.00 a month for three months. I'll be able to spend the $200.00 plus on something else when it get here.

Time to start getting to go see her. It's only 10:30 but we need to go to Washing Hospital Center (WHC), that's where our doctor is, so she can get a urine test. Then we go see Jenny and to Silver Diner and, I'll get home sometime between 18:00 and 19:00. So I have a seven to eight hour day ahead of me, an hour longer that usual.

Well I made it home at about 18 :45 and got my movies. I'm watching 2012 right now. I really like this movie.

2013-12-06 Fri.

Last night I ended up watching both 2012 and The Terminator. Then I read a couple of pages in my new book, Wraith by Phaedra Weldon.

She writes like a romance novelist. There have been a bunch of a new breed of romance sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers I'm not sure when they started but I know they were around in the mid '00s. Judy Anderson, an old landlady of mine, used to read a lot of old style romance. She said that if they wrote about firemen they would learn every thing about firemen. There was no room for make believe in that genre I guess. The only difference now is that they have slightly more leeway but, they still have to follow certain historical guidelines, i.e., werewolves aren't blood suckers or, even if you have sub-space travel it still takes time to get there.

2013-12-07 Sat.

It's 13:00 and, I've been watching DVDs from Netflix.

The first was Little Big Man with Dustin Hoffman. It's a happy, sad, funny, and maybe a little angry, kind of movie. I really like it though I've only maybe seen it twice now. I think I saw it the first time in a theater Boston.

Hanna is a middle aged teenager raised in isolation and trained by her father, an ex- CIA operative, to become a highly skilled assassin. Longing for a normal life, Hanna chooses to come out of hiding but soon becomes targeted by the U.S. government. The CIA pick her up in the woods where she lived with her father and took her to Morocco. After she escapes she meets up with a English family on holiday. The bad guys, free lancers, catch up with them in Spain. Hanna runs off and tells the daughter not to follow but, of course she does. Hanna gets away but, the bad guys interrogate the family and find out that Hanna is headed to Berlin. While all of this is going on we see Hanna's father, who had left the cabin before the CIA got there, traveling around Europe also going to Berlin. Hanna Kills the CIA operative and that is the end of the movie.

Of course there's a lot more to it but, what do you expect. It's not a technical manual, their easy to write.

It was a strange movie, when I saw the write up I was hesitant. On Netflix it was rated 3.6 stars though they rated it 4.5 stars for me. I enjoyed it though it was sad and a little depressing in a way.

2013-12-10 Tue.

Alright it's 10:30 on Tuesday morning and I haven't heard from Jeanne, so I'm all dressed and ready to be out of here before 13:30. I haven't written anything since Saturday but, life is good. I think some of my not writing is as I have said before I don't want to become obsessed with this to the point where I don't want to write any more. Also, though, I think that last weeks (2013-11-26) Test was a little too much. It was kind of scary. Kind of Traumatizing in a way. Kind of, I guess, like flashbacks can be for some people.

The only one I've ever had wasn't really bad. The part of that memory I was in, I was beyond fear, I knew that what ever happened to me wasn't going to be as bad as it might have been. Now don't get me wrong, I knew I was still in trouble but, it wasn’t anything like it could have been, I was still afraid but...

Anyway, I might be able to keep going as long as I pace myself. Only one horror per Test or something like that. I don't know but, maybe I will when it happens. In this part of life I'm like most people scary is bad. Well maybe, maybe a little more so for me.

I finished my book. By the way, it was about astral travel (out of body), wraiths and religious/esoteric interpretations of ethereal, astral, and abysmal beings. Well written in my opinion and, the author wasn't as romance novel as some I've read.

I get to be proud of myself here I spelt esoteric, ethereal, astral and abysmal by myself. Of course I have just finished reading them for a couple of hundred pages but, that often doesn't mean much with me. Maybe I was just that much into the book that it stuck.

I have also taken my meds every day since last Tuesday. When ever it was that Jeanne and I last talked about it. I had told her I'd need to put something on the computer to remind me. Well it's worked so far, though I do need a better reminder since the one I'm using right now has to be reset every day. However this could be a good thing, because it reinforces the idea to take them.

Not that I'm sure I really need them as much as I did at first but... If nothing else they keep Social Security happy with the idea that it's back to the hospital with out them, so I need the help. sometimes I think that Dr. Peterson helps foster this idea too. It's not that he says anything wrong or, that I think he's doing it because he likes me. It's more that he knows I need the help and, if he didn't lay it on so thick I'd lose it.

Andy has said stuff to this effect before. That when The Center staff have to deal with insurance companies they will emphasize a patients needs more than their strengths.

Well George still has trouble seeing the good in things and, he's identifying with his diagnosis. Well he is beginning to be less depressed but, at this point, we're not really sure whether this is an improvement or, if it's because he now has an excuse for his condition. Again identifying with his diagnosis, becoming a PTSD patient. Thereby actually needing more help or, even falling into a manic state and becoming bi-polar or at the least manifesting bi-polar features..

That kind of stuff really sounds bad and, it could all be technically correct. While George is beginning to identify with his diagnosis this is perfectly normal for a lot of, if not most, people. He can be taught that while he does have PTSD this is not who he is. He is what he is because of what happened to him. Because he was abused in some way, for an extended period of time as a child or an adult, or been in a situation or done something, whether he knew what he was doing or not, so horrible the trauma was too much for him to let go of.

George was beginning to be less depressed and, beginning to understand that there was hope even though he was having a lot of trouble seeing it. He could now go home without crawling into bed to sleep or hide until he had to go out again. While he was still having trouble with his family he could at least talk to them to let them know what he was going through. Even though he wasn't really seeing the good in things he was beginning to know it was there. He had been blinded to it by what had happen to him but, that this blindness was not permanent by any means.

As for becoming bi-polar, while possible most unlikely. Even bi-polar features which, while having more of a chance of happening, where not necessarily something to be feared. George didn't really seem the type. At most he might have a short manifestation that would be totally gone before long. More psychosomatic than a real diagnosis. This could all blow up though if George wasn't in therapy and, he did still need intensive group therapy to reinforce what he was beginning to learn.

Well time to go and clean the car off, even if it is still only ten to twelve. Things have a way of happening especially when we're not prepared for them. Besides it will be after twelve before I get outside.